Since starting my sabbatical (all 3 days so far), I’ve asked God to reveal to me (and my group of confidantes traveling this with me) the depth of my woundedness. This has caused me to become a very vulnerable person, opening up my deepest thoughts and insecurities for these people, whom I love and trust, to see out in the light. This process has been very scary to me because vulnerability is not something I am very comfortable with (and well, who is). What is coming to light is that my woundedness is deeper than I thought and that my strength has relied on the pain of the woundedness to keep me moving and going.
We come unbidden into this life, and if we are lucky, we find a purpose beyond starvation, misery, and early death which, lest we forget, is the common lot. I grew up and I found my purpose and it was to become a physician. My intent wasn’t to save the world as much as to heal myself. Few doctors will admit this, certainly not young ones, but subconsciously, in entering the profession, we must believe that ministering to others will heal our woundedness. And it can. But it can also deepen the wound.
I am learning self-care. It’s needed. Please continue to pray for me as I continue my pilgrimage.